Before
now, men hardly ventured near the labour room. Then, the farthest men
could go was the passageway leading to the labour room. They could be
pacing up and down the passage, trying to peep or eavesdrop through the
door, but going into the labour room was not common.
Men then were prevented from hearing the
cries of pain of their wives and would rather be sent on errands all in a
bid to shut them out of the labour process.
But now, the presence of men in the labour room is almost becoming a symbol of love.
To many women these days, childbirth is
painful and the man’s presence in the labour room is like a reassurance
that the couple are in it together. Some men also believe watching their
wives delivered of their babies is aside being seen as emotional
contributions and support, a proof of love.
However, as fashionable and contemporary
as it is now, some medical experts have warned that men witnessing their
wives having babies are more likely to have reduced sexual drive, also
known as libido.
A French obstetrician, Dr. Michel Odent,
said men should stay out of the delivery room so as to continue to have a
healthy sex life with the woman. He explained that men have always seen
the vagina as a sex organ and that they may find it uninteresting if
the same organ is being used for non-sexual activity. Thus, staying away
from the labour room would invariably help the man’s sexual life.
“The sexual risk is that men will not be
able to remain sexually attracted to a woman after seeing her vagina
used for non sexy jobs, like childbirth,” he said.
In
a survey by Netmums, a parenting website, it was revealed that couples
make love less than they did before they had children. The survey noted
that witnessing the trauma of childbirth, coupled with the toll it takes
on the woman’s body could have a devastating impact on a man and his
approach to sex.
According to some scientists, in spite of
the fact that it takes some time for a woman to get her sex drive back
after childbirth, the trauma men have and their thought about what
happened during the delivery if they were there, especially seeing how
big the vagina could be, could reduce sexual activity between the couple
because the man might feel irritated.
Odent shared his experience with Daily Mail.
The medical expert who said he had been involved in childbirth for 50
years in hospitals in United Kingdom and France, also pointed out that
apart from the reduced sexual drive, men witnessing childbirth could
slow down labour and that the trauma of watching such a woman could
trigger a type of post-natal depression in men.
He said, “Having been involved in
childbirth for 50 years, and having been in charge of 15,000 births with
the father’s presence or absence, I have reached a conclusion that
there is little good for a couple’s sexual life in having a man at the
birth of a child.
“When men first started standing at their
partner’s side during labour, I remember my mother’s generation saying
that the couple’s intimate life would be ruined as a result.
“And, given that the key to eroticism is a
degree of mystery, I am left believing they had a point. There are many
things we do in private in order to preserve a degree of modesty and
mystery. And, for the benefit of our sex lives, it may be worth adding
childbirth to this list.
“Of course, this is not the case for all
men, but it seems without doubt that some men are at risk of being
unwell or depressed due to having seen their partners labour.
“Also,
for the woman, his presence is a hindrance, and a significant factor in
why labours are longer, more painful and more likely to result in
intervention than ever. I have noticed that the more the man
participates in the birth process, the worse his wife’s labour has been
and the higher the risks of post-natal symptoms are.”
Findings show that men are not always
pleased with the changes that happen to some women’s body, such as scars
from Caesarean, for those who had it, saggy stomachs, increased nipple
size, sagging breasts, and the thought of seeing the woman’s expanded
sexual organ.
According to Odent, other reasons why men
should not be present in the labour room include the fact that a woman
in labour needs to be in a private world, whereas a word of advice or
encouragement from the man could draw her out of the quiet moment that
she needs to focus.
He said, “A labouring woman needs to be
protected against any stimulation of the thinking part of her brain –
the neocortex – for labour to proceed with any degree of ease. This part
of the brain needs to take the back seat and allow the primal
‘unthinking’ part of the brain connected to basic vital functions to
take over.
“She needs to be in a private world where
she doesn’t have to think or talk. Yet, motivated by a desire to share
the experience, the man asks questions and offers words of reassurance
and advice. In doing so, he denies his partner the quiet mind that she
needs.
“The second reason is that the father’s
release of the stress hormone adrenaline as he watches his partner
labour causes her anxiety, and prevents her from relaxing. And the
release of adrenaline is contagious. This is apart from some men being
aggressive.
“It has been proven that it is physically
impossible to be in a complete state of relaxation if there is an
individual standing next to you who is tense and full of adrenaline.
“The effect of this is that, with a man
present, a woman cannot be as relaxed as she needs to be during labour,
hence, the process becomes longer and more difficult. We must keep in
mind that mammals cannot release oxytocin – the key hormone in
childbirth – when they are also being influenced by the stressful
effects of hormones of the adrenaline family.
“That is why the moment he leaves the
room, the baby arrives. The truth is that without him there, the woman
is finally able to relax into labour in a way that speeds up delivery.”
Meanwhile, a survey by Oxford University
showed that men were “deeply affected” by difficult births, with some
experiencing subsequent depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Reacting to the study, a psychologist,
Prof. Oni Fagboungbe, said as much as childbirth could reduce a woman’s
sexual drive, witnessing it could also reduce the man’s libido, but that
identifying each other’s erogenous zones would be a good way to revive
their sexual drive. He noted that the level of irritation differs
between men and women.
He said, “For example, when a man
witnesses childbirth and sees how wide the organ is, he could be
irritated and that may possibly reduce his sexual drive. However, if the
wife is able to identify the man’s erogenous zone and fiddles with it,
the man’s sexual drive may be revived instantly.
“There are many factors involved when it
comes to sexual stimulation. Men and women have different areas where
they are sexually sensitive and it varies from person to person. When
such area is triggered in either the woman who gives birth or the man
that is present, their sexual desire will likely be triggered.”
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